Things you may not know about pregnancy...

Why do all women that have gone through the trials of pregnancy/labour not warn you about certain things ? It's so much easier to smirk and say "good luck"... I mean aside from some morning sickness issues, the first 30 weeks were a cinch. 

Then all hell breaks loose. 

- Sleepless nights of feeling like a whale, with another whale inside of you pushing on every part of our teeny tiny bladder. No position is comfy--and when you are comfy, you worry about all the things you read about sleeping on your back not being good for the baby---AHH!

- Nesting. We all know about it. You have the feeling of nesting for a lot of your pregnancy, but if you're talking about nesting, you have no idea what nesting really is until those last few days when you go into complete hibernation, empty ever cupboard, drawer, closet, shelf and clean until you think you may go into labour.

-feedings, diapers , washing and sterilizing bottles and washing receiving blankets would take up every waking moment in life . I really don't know how single moms do it. Thank god for husbands. Yay , 2 more hands!

- nipples (sorry)--unrecognizable. You will swear they're not yours....they do go back to normal. Also if you're breast feeding/pumping...good effing luck getting them to not crack. I had those suckers drenched in lanolin 24/7 and they still hurt and cracked.

- oh the blood, and the clots. I know, tmi...but just...wow. I got off lucky, mine only lasted like 2 weeks post baby, but I've heard some go NINE weeks. 

- good luck moving in and out of bed for 24 hours. Get up to shower and pee they say? Bahagahahaha  no thanks.

- thinking you know all about everything baby related until that creature is put into your arms. TRIAL BY FIRE. 

- contractions is much too nice of a word for what it is. I think I blacked out. I totally checked out during the labour. You zone back in pretty quick though when you see your treasure. Oh and if you're wondering "am I having a contraction?" The answer is hell no. You won't ask when you are lol

- you will freak the !$*% out when your actual doctor doesn't come until the baby is crowning.

- your husband could be in a different country during it all, for all you care. I don't know where the women come from that yell at their husbands during labour, because I almost forgot mine existed.

- the iv in your hand....oh sweet baby Jesus that lil jerk HURTS going in and doesn't stop hurting until they take it out...which is a heck of a long time after birth.

- the after birth feels like heaven...gross, I know, but lets be honest here...ah-mazing.

- when you get to the hospital and you're in labour, throw your health card at their faces. Who the heck has time for that at a time like this?!?!?

- don't ever go to the hospital thinking you're leaking amniotic fluid if you're not 199% sure...lets just say speculum...no lubricant. 

- NO. I don't want to pace the halls to dialate faster, yes I want the drugs.

- robes that don't close? No problem. You don't care who the heck sees the lady bid-Nass because you just want that baby OUT.

- oh PS. the water breaking in the movies? That's exactly how it looks. I got lucky and mine broke by itself--but apparently that only happens 30% if the time. Not so lucky..i woke up from a nap to it breaking in my bed. Luckily most of it waited to splash out until I stood up.

- oh and if you thought you were tired before--wait for it. Your baby sleeps a lot, but in 1-3 hour intervals between eating. You know waking up every hour to feed counts as no sleep pretty well. Ever fallen asleep standing up? I have. I don't want to hear how exhausted you are after a 4 hour crappy sleep. Bite me. (Gets better around 8 weeks for most --that's when G started sleeping 7 hours a night--he's up to 11 hours a night now lol).

Anyways-- I was suffering from baby fever tonight. Now I'm not. Problem solved :)

All in all for the last few weeks and up until a few days after birth, you're disgusting. But the miracle of life was not meant to be pretty...but the fruit of our loins? Always beautiful :)

Happy Friday! LOL