Stay sane on maternity leave

When I was off on maternity leave for Garett, I was off starting right before Christmas. So the beginning when he was teeny tiny, was the middle of winter, so I don't know that we went outside more than absolutely necessary. 

We also lived out of town, so over an hour round trip to go shopping when I was pumping , naps, feeding, up to my eyeballs in diaper changes, plus housework, cooking , etc? Yeah, we never went to town just the two of us. 

This time around, I swore to myself that I won't let having a baby affect my schedule as much. Garett was so go with the flow, but me? I was not. I wasn't comfortable in my new role of mommy yet. What if he cried while we were out, or in the car? What if he napped in his car seat and not in his bassinet ?? Babies are resilient. You notice these things much more than they do. So this time, I am much more at ease. 

I found maternity leave boring and lonely last time. This time would be worse , if I let it, since Keora was born smack dab in the middle of tylers busy season. So forget that noise. 

To keep my sanity, here is what helps:

-go out everyday. Alone, as a family, with one kid..just get out of the house. Go for a walk, go to the park, go shopping, go to an event, go to the restaurant, or even for just a car ride. Just get out of the house for any amount of time each day. It helps you feel like the outside world is still there. 

-keep the house clean. Sometimes it's hard with a toddler,  a husband and a baby to take care of also, but if I know there's a mess, it genuinely affects my day until it's cleaned. 

- have some alone time in your own house. Mine is during shower or bath time. Sometimes to clean. You need a few minutes for self reflection and to "shut off" everyday. 

-maintain a normal schedule. If I don't force myself to stick to some type of schedule, I will legitimately forget to eat for a whole day. Make a schedule. Stick to it. 

- cook and bake. Having homemade food makes you feel like a real person. After a baby, premade dinners go FAST and then you order in way too much. Then you start feeling crummy. There's nothing better tthan good fresh food. Keira and I like to go to the grocery store and get fresh stuff to try new recipes. 

-always have a diaper bag packed. This helps ALOT. I turn into a raging b-word when I feel rushed or frazzled when we are trying to get out the door. Garett is easy. He's pick up and go now, but babies require so much. I keep a bag with a change of clothes, extra receiving blankets, a bunch of diapers and wipes, and then I just have to stick a fresh bottle in there just in case she gets hungry while we are out. Not running around gathering stuff and feeling organized puts me in a good mood. 

-make a system that works. Between you and your husband. You and your baby. You and your setup of feedings and such. You need to turn this baby life into a finely piled machine. 

-have a plan put into place for when you will go back to work. I spent ALOT of time stressing over this for Garett. Daycare , should I stay off longer or go back at the normal time, etc. Garett is going to school in September , Keira has her spot at our daycare waiting, I am going to take until September off of work I think, and just need to submit the already approved form. I don't have to give any of it another thought for at least 7 more months now. 

-make time for friends/social life. Get out on your own and go to dinner. Have people over to your house and put daddy on baby duty. Sometimes girl talk and food/drinks is all the soul food you need to feel like yourself again. 

-get away on a trip with you significant other. If anyone else is like me, your relationship can take a real beating in that first year of a child's life. You're both busy, distracted by kids/work, etc. It's hard to connect everyday on topics other than your kids or your daily frustrations. Our random dates and our yearly trip away is our chance to reconnect, be spontaneous, to be romantic and to remember why we chose to be each other's forever. We come back feeling refreshed. Sometimes getting away is not only good for your relationship, but also makes you a better parent. My kids deserve me to be on my a-game. And when I'm exhausted and constantly in a state of agitation, I feel bad! Life is more fun when you have fun!

What helped keep you sane while you were off with your baby??